Is Loving Others Without Loving Ourselves First Possible?

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Is Loving Others Without Loving Ourselves First Possible?

In a way, caring for ourselves has never been more accessible. These days, you don’t have to go too far to find a yoga studio or an adult coloring book to de-stress. Self-help books are a multi-billion dollar industry in the U.S. alone. Mental health conversations are being de-stigmatized through a surge of awareness campaigns.

And yet, self-care has never been harder. We’re surrounded by distractions. Our chirping phones remind us there’s always somewhere else we should be, someone else we should be prioritizing. Wi-Fi and smartphones make it hard to get away from work—especially if measure our success by how busy we are.

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The Secret Ingredient to a Great Love Story

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The Secret Ingredient to a Great Love Story

For the average person, regardless of religious belief or vocation, being compassionate to oneself doesn’t come naturally. Sometimes—even a lot of the time—it’s easier to love others than to love ourselves. And that’s because we’re unavoidably aware of our own flaws and fears and failures. We live everyday with the qualities we deem to be unlovable. We know the lousy things we’re capable of doing, the horrible things that cross our mind that we hide from others. We see the bad in us and the good in others.  

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Suffering is Not Your Duty

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Suffering is Not Your Duty

Compassionate people know that resilience is a practice, not a natural gift. They learn how to give themselves grace—that the burdens of the world are not theirs to carry. They practice self-compassion, know that battling against the darkness doesn’t eliminate them from living in the light. They believe they are enough as they are, even without the prideful demeanour that uses self-sacrifice as a badge of honour.

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Parched For Community

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Parched For Community

For me, community started sharing the raw, unedited version of my story with those I had always tried to convince I was invincible. I spoke my loneliness and admitted my struggles—as a humanitarian, as a people-pleaser, as a lonely human being seeking belonging.  

And instead of being rejected for disclosing my imperfections, I was greeted by an outpouring of grace: from loving phone calls, prayers, and financial gifts to friends driving twenty hours round-trip to come visit me when I was too fatigued to string together a coherent sentence. Before I finally found a place to settle down, people warmly opened up their homes to me indefinitely. I asked for support, and I received it—abundantly. 

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